So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
