So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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