If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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