There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I FOUND THE LEGS
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
