I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
