I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
