I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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