it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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