Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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