I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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