The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
