you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
