very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
