I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
