I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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