doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
