i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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