Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
