I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ok first of all what the fuck
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
