Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
