How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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