Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sext me about skeletons
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
