i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
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when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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