Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?