There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
