I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
