turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is classic penis vs brain.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
