just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Randomize
