Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
