I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
tell me about the eggs
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