look no pants
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
