All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize