Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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