I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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