Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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