I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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