she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dick very happy bro
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
