Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
