i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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