Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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