I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
