it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
