So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Someone signed my nipple.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
