also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
