when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
