I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
