Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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