Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
