He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
