**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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