I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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