look no pants
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
