Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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I smell like Dick and happiness
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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