I just cut my nipple shaving
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
