What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
