Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
