The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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