I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
