i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
