So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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