i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
