Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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