Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
